IT'S BEEN FOREVER! GAH.

So. This white substance that we both hate is giving me a hard time... I still can't quite get used to the taste of soy-milk. It just... can't suffice... won't suffice. BUT- I have to stick with what's what. This is what God has given me to work with, and so I will. Cereal with soy-milk it is!

-_____________________- I feel like I'm the only one who owns this blog.

It hurts.

The other day I was with my mom and aunt at Rita's...The last time I had the gelati (( it's like ice cream except soft-serve)) swirled with Italian ice, it didn't hurt my stomach. There was no reaction what.so.ever. So, of course I chose to have it again thinking that I could pull it off and get by with it...About half way through the cup, I felt awful. My stomach was k-i-l-l-i-n-g me. I was wrong. I couldn't handle it. I had to finish eating it otherwise it'd be a waste of 2 or 3 bucks. So, after I was done, we got back in the car and I was in so much pain I felt like throwing up. It hurt to the extreme. I curled up in the back seat clamping my eyes together and holding in the shrieks that wanted to escape my mouth. That night for dinner, my aunt ordered pizza. I had to ask her to ask the pizza person to cut back on the cheese...I basically had bread, with tomato sauce and a few teeny shreds of cheese on top, what a dinner. I underestimate what I can take and what I can't. I always think I can "get by" since the previous time didn't hurt as much. I need to make better choices.

At least I'm not all alone in this huge world.

I hate milk.

Sometimes I get deceived... And it's not fun...

Sooo, today, after church, we headed to Wendy's with a couple other families and I ate my meal very happily. After I was finished with lunch, I decided to just deal with the pain and eat an amazing chocolate frosty. So, I ate one, and I was the happiest little girl in America. ((at the time)) I expected to get a stomach ache WHILE I was eating it buuuuuuuut I didn't and I was uber surprised. So I got home and I was STILL feeling perfect fine but then, after a little while, I felt the frosty getting to me... My stomach was killing me and it hurt to breathe... I hate going through this but God obviously has a reason for it.

The Ups and Downs

A diet can be both easy and hard, fun and difficult, uplifting and discouraging. At first I figured my dairy-freeness would relatively easy with only a few struggles in saying no. And I did prove myself correct . . . well, at least after I got through the first day.

  Yeah, day one was kind of difficult. Once I got over the initial shock that I would be going without all forms of the allergen casein, I began to see what exactly I would be missing out on. For starters that morning was my family's egg and toast morning. Now get this: I'm not a big egg person UNLESS I can put cheese on my omelet or scrambled eggs or whatever, but now I CAN'T! And so on went the rest of the day while my brothers and sisters continued to happily eat things I couldn't.

But after the first day was over, I began to regulate what I ate almost mechanically. I simply knew I couldn't have dairy so I refused it without even thinking about how much I wanted it. My adorable niece could decide to share some of her candy and shove a chocolate bar in my face, and I would have no problem putting the candy back in her basket. When I was given a snack wrap sprinkled with cheese, I sat there and picked the cheese off.

Then the diet became a little fun. My older sister, who is on a waaaaaayyyy more restricted diet than me, and I started looking for recipes and alternative foods to eat. Instead of being excited about going to the mall together, we became ecstatic to go and check out all the health food stores. Thanksgiving and Christmas were glorious with our gluten-free vegan brownies, hummus, and ghee . . . except for a few slight temptations.

See, this is where the diet became a little difficult. Everyone starting pulling out there candy, hot chocolate, cookies, and blueberry pies. And yeah, I'll admit it; I went a little crazy for some time. It wasn't exactly fun to stand by and watch the rest of the family enjoy their pretzel M&Ms and ice cream cake while you got almond milk smoothies.

  But I lived, and here I am, still wishing for the ice cream and cheese but yet still fascinated with the challenge.